They have made us believe that we are incomplete human beings without someone by our side, that the natural course of life is to find “our better half” and be with him/her forever. Or at least pair up to never be alone. We find this person: butterflies, flowers, violas make our life wonderful. We get used to this comfort, this new way of life, someone else’s company and suddenly… bang! It’s over. And now this? How do we learn to be without a partner? How to learn to be alone after a breakup? We know it’s not easy, and that’s why we want to help you understand why it happens and give you some advice on how to learn to be alone after a relationship.
Why it is difficult for us to be alone after a relationship
From childhood, they prepare us for life both as a couple and in society. We have a thousand examples: at home, in movies, advertising… and in some way it makes sense to be with other people because we are social beings. But no one teaches us to be alone. Being alone is seen as something bad: “it’s weird”, “antisocial”, “a crazy person” and so on.
Especially at a certain age, being single may even cause suspicion: we feel the social pressure from our family and friends… “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”. On the other hand, a relationship has many social benefits: people see you as someone who is more reliable, more normal, less suspicious, many offers are targeted at you, and so on. So, no wonder we want follow this line of behavior.
Moreover, when we are healthy as a couple, we feel comfortable, loved and happy to be reciprocated by the one we love. We have someone next to us with whom we share our tastes, hobbies, fears and worries… someone who understands us, cares for us, pampers us and, best of all, makes us feel less alone! We spend time with him/her and the bond with this person grows, strengthens. But not everything is one hundred percent positive. As we live with it more and more, it is much easier to lose or give up without recognizing our individual identity. We forget what we used to do when we were alone, how we lived with ourselves.
In this way, it is normal that it costs us more to be alone when a relationship ends. In fact, often even the fear of being alone after a breakup occurs because of the need to adapt to changes and unfamiliar situations. This fear can systematically make us leave a relationship and start another one. It is important to learn how to be alone, without a partner, so that this can be an option and not a necessity. Below you will find tips on to learn how to deal with the loneliness that we feel after the breakup. Learn to be alone and not depend on anyone. By the way, read this article about how to get over your ex.
How to learn to be alone
How to deal with loneliness after a breakup? Loneliness is a subjective feeling. We can be with people and still feel disconnected from everything and everyone. Conversely, it is possible to learn to be alone without feeling alone. How to learn to be alone with yourself?
Positive solitude. To do this, we must first get rid of the idea that loneliness is a bad thing in our minds. Everyone needs to be alone from time to time, moreover, it is even beneficial, because being alone, we can relax, reconnect with ourselves and rest from others. That’s right, being alone has its positive side! And recognizing this is another step in learning to be with ourselves. But in case you’re currently a little short of ideas, we’ll remind you of a few: you can do whatever you want, you don’t have to explain to anyone, you can use your time as you want, etc.
Self-esteem. Another important element of this relearning is self-esteem. Improving your self-esteem will not only help you get through the breakup in a lighter way, but also help you be more independent and trust your own standards, both of which are essential ingredients to being the queen or the king of your life.
Exercises to learn to be alone
How do you learn to be well alone after a relationship? Thinking about all of the above is great to start knowing how to be alone, but we also need to focus our efforts to accomplish this task in the form of exercises. So what can we do?
- Rediscover yourself. In other words, get back to our hobbies, those things you used to be passionate about, or simply enjoyed doing, period. In addition to exploring new possibilities, discover what else you love to do.
- To meditate. Meditation, mindfulness, etc. help many people, because these types of exercises make us focus on ourselves and disconnect from the outside world, which is essential if you want to learn how to be alone and happy.
- Writing. About what happens to you, about your feelings, about your future plans, about what you want. To organize your ideas, to express yourself, to let off steam, for whatever you want.
- Physical exercise. Not only is it good for your health and prevents more diseases than you can imagine, but it also releases endorphins, serotonin and dopamine that make you feel happier and more satisfied with yourself.
Being alone should not be a cause of discomfort, but if you keep feeling lonely, we recommend that you consult a psychologist or a specialist to better treat your case and choose the most appropriate plan for you.