I miss my ex: what can I do?
When a breakup occurs, many emotions are most common, some pleasant, such as letting go or a sense of hope and others uncomfortable, such as fear, guilt, a sense of failure or sadness. Anyway, you need to know how to get over your ex.
It is very common to wonder: how do I know if I miss my ex, why do I miss my ex when I left him/her or even why do I miss my ex so much after years. No one likes to feel these emotions that we label as negative, but they are necessary to come out of the breakup stronger. If you miss your ex-partner, read this article that will help you get over your ex and know what to do when you miss your ex.
Why do I miss my ex?
When we go through a breakup, we enter a grieving process in which we are expected to go through several stages.
In the beginning, we may go into shock and become frozen and numb. In later stages, we will feel a deeper pain, where we may think that without the other person we are nothing. Sometimes, you may even dream about your ex (read this article about what it may mean).
When a bond is so strong and deep and we lose it, we go through a phase where we feel a strong need for the other person. However, the feeling of pain is necessary so that we can then distance ourselves from that person. Dealing with the frustration that things are not as we would like is a difficult process. There are times when we tend to look for reasons, blame someone or blame ourselves.
I left her/him but I miss my ex
Analyze and learn from what happened in order to continue to grow, but don't judge or blame, because it will only make the suffering grow. We advise you to get rid of anger, which is a product of the frustration of life expectations, of ordinary projects, of your broken heart. Expressing our emotions can help, although it does not change the situation. Let the duel take its course.
The pain must be lived, don't stop the spontaneity of your feelings, don't try to cover the pain. Although it may not seem so, suffering, crying, reflecting… help us to face the loss. It is essential to work on emotions and not run away from them. In this way, you will reach the point of adjustment to reality where your ex-partner no longer has a place, but where, little by little, you will find other new things that will certainly make you feel better.
How to stop missing your ex
What to do when you miss your ex, and your ex doesn't want to come back? Now that you know how the process of grieving a relationship breakup works, you may want to follow these tips if you want to stop missing your ex:
- Accept that the relationship is over. The process of separation and recovery takes time. Don't put pressure on yourself. In this article, we explain how to leave your partner without hurting him/her.
- Break the contact. The feeling of wanting to get back with your ex is natural. Our mind has become accustomed to his or her presence and we associate everything with him / her. However, don't be tempted to go back to the contact.
- Life goes on. Therefore, continue with your goals and even illusions. Focus on yourself and develop your personal growth, get to know yourself better, discover what your motivations are.
- Create new memories. You don't have to stop going to the places you've been with your partner, it's about creating new memories in the company of friends or family.
- Open yourself up to new experiences. Even if you had a bad experience with your ex, don't be afraid and be open to new experiences. No one wants to suffer, but if you don't accept that you may suffer at some point in your life and you close yourself off to avoid having your heart broken, you will give up on love.
- Write down how you feel, or discuss it with someone you trust. It's a great way to release what's inside of you without getting in touch with your ex.
- Get rid of the things that remind you of him / her . Put your things away, you don't have to throw them away. You may want to retrieve them later, when you are over it.
- Don't isolate yourself. The greatest source of emotional support is our friends and family. It is also good to expand your social circle, meet new people who will bring you new sensations.
- Practice a sport, go on a trip or just give life to your hobbies. You will have more energy and fill the gaps left by your ex-partner.
- Live in the present. Do things you enjoy and replenish yourself and don't think about future projects for a while. Read this article about how to learn to be alone!
How long do you miss your ex?
The time we need to stop feeling pain of loss depends on many factors: our personality, life experiences, the emotional support we receive from family and friends, our age… and, of course, the type of breakdown we have experienced.
It also depends on the relationship you have with that person. If you continue to send messages or receive news through social networks, it is very difficult for you to turn the page of the relationship.
It is normal to miss your ex for a few months, but if you continue to miss your ex intensely after years, it is time to consider what exactly does not allow you to end the psychological duel and move on with your life.
If you see that time is passing and the fact that you do not stop thinking about your ex-partner is preventing you from living a relatively normal life or affecting your relationships with other people, we recommend that you seek a professional assistance.
How to get your ex back
What to do if you miss your ex and want to get back with him or her? If you want to resume the relationship with your ex-partner, you need to make sure that you do not just feel lonely or alone, but that you are clear that you want to share your life with that person because you complement and contribute to each other.
If your driving force is only the fear of loneliness, we recommend that you work on your self-esteem, your beliefs and your autonomy. If you want to get back in touch to see if you can continue the relationship, we recommend you read the following article on how to get back with your ex.
Please note that this article is purely informative. We don't try to or make a diagnosis. If you experience any problems, see a psychologist to address your specific case.