Your girlfriend bought 500 dollars worth of unnecessary crap on Aliexpress, the neighbor's dog pooped on your rug, your colleague screwed up work deadlines and blames everyone around him, no hot water in the morning? You shouldn't be nervous. Nerve cells regenerate, but they do it so slowly that by the time you get yours back in just one morning, you'll have burned three times as much. Sit down, take a breath and relax—aum, brother. Buddhists and meditation practitioners have gone commercial for a reason: they help you stop seeing only the bad and see little things as a deliberate blow by fate. Of course, they know better from the mountaintops how you should live your life in the megalopolis where you work 7 on 7 and 20 hours a day. But while you are angry at them, your stupid colleague doesn't worry about anything and just enjoys life.
You don't have to embrace a belief, shave your bright head and dance with a tambourine – take the best, take away the worst, live so that every day is a joy.
1. Accept the Ten Commandments and try to keep them
Buddha's great ethical teachings are as simple as a dime a dozen: everything that is, came into being for a reason; for good you will receive good, but you will pay for evil; everything that happens to you is a test. At first glance this seems like a set of obvious platitudes, but when you start thinking about any situation in life and remember these three phrases, the meaning will emerge. From the moral value of Buddhism also grew its Ten Commandments:
- Don't kill
- Thou shalt not steal
- Do not commit adultery
- Do not lie
- Don't use drugs
- Don't gossip
- Don't humiliate or boast
- Don't be stingy
- Don't hold a grudge
- Don't blaspheme the sacred
Refer to them in any situation you don't understand, even if you don't like it. Maybe you won't find harmony with the world and yourself, but you won't blame yourself for doing too much. Of course, not all of the commandments are 100% true and you're obliged to follow the path to nirvana. But as soon as you start looking for loopholes and getting out of it, you'll come back to the world of petty passions from which you so wanted to escape.
2. Find happiness in yourself, don't wait for it to come
No, not that global and abstract thing that's about to happen. Think about it, what is happiness for you? It's not about things, money, or being more successful than all your classmates. At the very least it's about being alive and being able to do anything – sing, dance, travel, fall in love, run, jump. You have a home, a job, friends and a little (and if a lot, we're jealous) money – many don't have that either. Everything you're looking for is already in you. Just dig into yourself, but don't be selfish.
3. Celebrate victories, not weep over defeats
If you think this goes against the commandments, you are inattentive: boasting and celebrating victory are not at all synonymous. Everything that happens to you is no accident-don't take it for granted. You're the one who succeeded, not the one who found you. To win even the smallest of things, you grew and matured, learned and made mistakes. Your whole life has led you to this point, and then will lead you to the next – even mountain climbers stop at altitude to congratulate each other. So life is the same mountain, only the Throat of Peace is still a long way off.
4. No perfectionism – forget about it
We are not so naive as to believe that you would instantly delete all these “image” posts from your social networks. But we hope you'll think about it: who needs everything to be perfect and absolutely perfect except yourself? Are you really that eager to be praised? Or maybe you just can't do otherwise, because it's a way to stand out and get ahead, we're not sure. But we do know one thing for sure: regardless of the result, if you've tried, you've already achieved something. And don't dwell on failures: they harden and teach you, so they're necessary.
5. The world is a mirror of ourselves, and mirrors don't lie
Through our eyes we look around us and see thousands of thousands of other people. What our eye clings to is in us – that's how psychology and our perception of the world works. What we like in others is in us and what we admire. What we find in others repulses and upsets us, we are afraid to find in ourselves, and sometimes we do. We are very egocentric beings and can rarely see the differences, subconsciously seeking only similarities. You should not rebel and go against your nature. If you want to find something different, change something in yourself. Then you will find in the other that which is valuable.
6. The universal law of balance: what you give, you get in return
And the more good you want and can give away, the more will return to you. The universe, the universe, fate (call it what you will) seeks harmony and balance, which means that everything in it will be equal: both good and bad, black and white. Yin-yang is perfectly proportional for a reason. This thing, karma, catches up with everyone and everything, sooner or later. And closely related to it is the emotional background: good and happy people seem to glow from within, and if you're much worse, it physically hurts to look at them. Give to good people and don't be stingy: even if you don't win the lottery on the same day, your face will light up for sure. And that's priceless.
7. Appreciate the moment here and now, not putting life on hold
Obviously, but all too often this is overlooked. You can wait for a vacation and save for it, deny yourself everything and go to sleep with a dream of a palm tree and a Brazilian woman, but when that sweet moment comes, your inflated expectations will crumble like a sand castle. Life is a balance: there will be bad things, you can't escape them, but there will also be good things. Appreciate every moment and don't expect something that will be better than your every day. There's one constant in all these dreams and plans: it's you. And that means that only you yourself can mess it up.
8. When you see a problem, think about whether it has a solution
And if you can fix and change everything so that there is no trace of hardship, then it is not a hardship and not a problem at all. Every problem has a solution other than death, and the solution is in your hands. You can be a hero and fix everything, but wailing and anger won't help in the solution at all. Don't be afraid of the difficult path. And you can go through it, otherwise there would be no solution, and there is no solution in only one case.
Mantras, meditations and sleeping on nails are the attributes of Buddhism for export. Buddhism is mostly a state of mind and soul, and only after that are esotericism and semi-magical rituals.
It is not for nothing that Buddhism can help you overcome stress. Accumulated fatigue and errors of perception accumulate it. We misjudge the situation and cannot see the whole picture, shutting ourselves in. And Buddhism teaches us to see everything at once. And if the vision is not good, just believe. From faith comes purpose, and from purpose comes meaning. The only difference with religion is that you have to believe in yourself.
If you know new subtleties of accepting the world, post in the comments. We're human too, and we too want to stop getting frustrated over the little things.